Pinocchio Pantomime A story of redemption and self-discovery – with one small twist – well, maybe not so small when the whole plot hinges on it! NB: This script is the Pinocchio class play adapted as a pantomime i.e. with addition of jokes, a larger than life Fairy as the Dame; and the script adjusted accordingly. Music: there is quite an extensive playlist – 15! The choice of these numbers is totally discretionary. Cast of 24 plus Duration Reading time – around 30 minutes not including music or jokes at the end. 4 scenes of approximately 5 - 10 minutes each – more with addition of jokes at the end. Total performance time: around 40 – 50 minutes plus, depending on how much music is used and how many jokes told. The performance could be reduced substantially with omission of both music and jokes. Sample Text: Narrator: Ah! There you are! At last! The good fairy! We’ve been waiting for you! Fairy: Oh, you mean this script needs something good in it? Well, I couldn’t agree with you more! (To audience) What a load of rubbish, eh? I’ve been sitting out in the wings (Twirling, showing off her wings) Beautiful, aren’t they? About time you all had a treat! This has to rate as one of the worst pantos Narrator: (Interrupting furiously) Hey! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! So where have you been, all this time we have been performing our ‘oh so terrible pantomime’? Fairy: Where have I been, darling? (Twirling) Do you really need to ask? (Pauses) Well, getting ready of course! A fairy must always look her absolute best at all times, especially this time of year! Narrator: (Aside to audience) Strikes me this fairy could spend a little more time down the gym! Fairy: (Exploding) I beg your pardon! I trust you are not suggesting I lose any of (pauses as she tries to find her waist) this exquisite figure? Narrator: Well, it might have helped you get here a bit quicker! Things have just been going from bad to worse, here on stage! Fairy: Oh, you mean the Pinocchio thing? Narrator: Er yes, it is his story we are telling here today! Fairy: Ah well, then. My timing is perfect (pauses as she minces over to the audience) … as ever! Here I am! Narrator: Just in the nick of time! We so need you – or rather, Pinocchio does! Fairy: Yes, I have been watching this rather sad story unravel. That puppet certainly needs all the help he can get! Narrator: But it has to be the right kind of help. He’s been receiving an unfortunate amount of the wrong type. Fairy: What do you mean? Narrator: Well, I’m afraid we have a slight glitch in the plot. You see, one of the good guys has turned bad! Fairy: Oh no! That is bad news! And who might that be?

Eurovision Song Contest Assembly or Class Play updated to 2018 Maybe this year – a few more points for Grande Bretagne?! It's that time of year again! Get ready for the funniest show on earth! (Does anyone really take it seriously?!) This assembly gives a quick chronological run through past winners ... and losers! How can, for example, the UK get it so right ... and yet so desperately wrong! A light hearted coverage of all UK winning songs (and runners up) plus such greats as Abba. The song list is memorable - for all the right reasons! Cast size 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration: 15 - 30 minutes (depending on number of songs chosen) Sample Text Music 8 Waterloo – Abba (Whole cast plus ‘Abba representative sings song) Narrator: Wow! What a hit that was! It certainly launched Abba into a glittering rock career! Rock Star (‘Cliff’) (Grumbling) And as if it wasn’t bad enough - our beautiful Olivia Newton John being pipped to the post. Then it happens again the following year – this time to my mates The Shadows! Music 9 Let Me Be the One – The Shadows (Whole cast singing brief excerpt from song) (Judge charging back onto stage) Narrator: (Testily) You again! Judge: But they didn’t win! I thought this line up was meant to be just for winners! Narrator: (Outraged) What? And miss some of the best music? Never! (Turning to cast) Are we agreed? Whole Cast: (Blowing kisses at Narrator) Oh yes! Peace and happiness! We love you! Music 10 Save Your Kisses for Me – Brotherhood of Man (Whole cast plus Narrator sing this song) Narrator: (Sighing) Ah! 1976! Another great win for the United Kingdom!

Halloween Assembly Class Play: The Vanishing Pumpkin Customer feedback received 12.10.14 AMAZING! Exactly what I needed. Well written, funny and great suggestions for music. I’m using this with a class of 31 and the suggestions for adaptations were spot on. The class love it and are super excited for our assembly on the 30th of October. Thank you Cast: 30 (See Production Notes for smaller cast size) Duration: 10 to 15 minutes. The play can be extended by the addition of jokes Music 1 Disney Haunted House Judge 1: Welcome! Judge 2: We are gathered here to behold the year’s spookiest show! Judge 3: Our very own ….. Whole cast: (Shouting together) Halloween Talent Competition! (Everyone cheers) Judge 1: Each year we have a different set of contestants – but all sharing one thing in common! They’re all All Contestants: (Yelling) Gruesome! Judge 2: That’s right! No prizes here for beauty – on the contrary… Judge 3: The more gruesome, the better! Judge 1: (Looking up and down the line of contestants) And I have to say, this year you have truly surpassed yourselves! Judge 2: (Nodding) Absolutely! Judge 3: What a grotesque lot! (Everyone cheers) Judge 1: But are you truly scary? Judge 2: That is what will win you this coveted prize! Judge 3: A pumpkin – filled with every imaginable horror! (Each judge walks over and holds up something from out of the pumpkin, before dropping it back in again; the showing of each ‘exhibit’ prompting cries of admiration from the cast) Judge 1: A venomous snake! Judge 2: A warty toad! Judge 3: A blood-covered axe! Judge 1: Ah yes! There is something for everyone! Judge 2: But who is to be our champion this year? Judge 3: Let’s meet the contestants! Music 2 Witch Queen of New Orleans - Redbone (Enter 3 witches) Witches: (Together) We are the three witches of Macbeth! (Three witches recite 2 lines from Shakespeare’s Macbeth, whilst bent over a caldron) Witches: Double, double, toil and trouble Fire burn, and cauldron bubble. Witch 1: Evil we look! Witch 2: Ugly we are! Witch 3: (All sweetly) Choose us, kind judges Witches: (Screaming together) Or we’ll have yaaaaaaaaah! (Witches race over to the judges, making menacing gestures) Judge 1: That’s enough! Judge 2: We will not be intimidated!

Halloween and Sleeping Beauty Assembly 'Wicked' is a Witch to be reckoned with ... so don't be fooled by her 'fairy' status! Cast Size: 15 - 30 Duration: Around 15 minutes not including music suggestions. I originally wrote this script for PSHE as the message behind it is 'always remember to say thank you'. I have adapted it to give it for Halloween. It can also be used at Christmas - a truly versatile script! Sample Text Wicked Fairy: So, what’s it to be? You doing a one-man show (Aside to audience) And let me tell you, he’s no Michael McKintyre! Or doing the sensible thing – and working with me? Narrator: OK! OK! You win. (Looking at watch) Now, could you do whatever you’re going to do rather quickly otherwise this audience is going to walk! Wicked Fairy: Very well! Here we go! (Wicked Fairy flicks her wand in the direction of the cast and they all wake up, rubbing their eyes and yawning) Narrator: Phew! Now we can get on with the show! So, whilst this lot wake themselves up a bit, I’ll tell you a little about today’s performance! It’s rather a nice story Wicked Fairy: (Yawning loudly) I’m bored already! Narrator: About a king and a queen Wicked Fairy: Boring! Narrator: And their longing for a child! Wicked Fairy: Poor misguided fools! Have they no idea how much trouble children can be? Narrator: (Angrily) Now look here, Miss …. Er um.. Wicked Fairy: You can call me ‘Wicked’! Narrator: Miss Wicked, then! I recognise what a fine job you did waking this lot up Wicked Fairy: And? Narrator: But I must insist you desist from hijacking this show! This is a nice story Wicked Fairy: So you said! And you know what? Nice really doesn’t do it for me! Narrator: (Impatiently) Well, that’s just too bad! For your information, wicked doesn’t do it for me! (Looking pleased with himself) Ha! Ha! Touche! Wicked Fairy: (To audience) See what I saved you from? And it’s not just his one liners that get worse! Narrator: (Looking at watch) Now, I really must ask you to leave – now! Wicked Fairy: Very well! But you will pay for your ill manners! Not so much as a thank you for my troubles? (To audience, stage whisper) Never fear, my revenge will be sweet! As Halloween approaches, a witch’s powers grow - getting greater and greater! (Pauses) Oh … hadn’t you guessed? This ‘Wicked Fairy’ thing is just a front – a disguise. I’m really a witch … and a very wicked one at that! See you around!

Rumpelstiltskin play This is an alternative version of the original Brothers Grimm version. Cast of 6, reading time approximately 20 minutes Includes: Synopsis of original fairy tale, play script, teaching input, discussion and suggested follow up activities. This script can be used for performance - as an assembly/class play; or as a guided reading script with built in lesson plan (as described above). This is the first of a series of 'alternative' fairy tales written by Sue Russell - coming up: Rapunzel, Hansel and Gretel, Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty - these last three already available as assemblies/class plays, cast size 30 (easily adaptable up or down). Snow White also available as a pantomime. Rumpelstiltskin Sample Text: Narrator: Good morning. And welcome to one of our favourite fairy tales (Enter Rumpelstiltskin) Rumpelstiltskin: Rumpelstiltskin! That’s me! Narrator: A veritable fiend! Villain! Crook! Rumpelstiltskin: (Interrupting) Er, wait a minute! Are we talking about the same fairy tale? (Narrator consults his notes) Narrator: Well, I think so. Weren’t you the horrible little Rumpelstiltskin: (Interrupting) Could you be just a tiny bit less offensive? I mean, ‘horrible’, ‘little’. Aren’t there any rules on political correctness here? Narrator: (Apologetically) Oh I’m sorry. You're right (Putting script to one side) I’ll try not to follow this quite so much (Rumpelstiltskin walks over and takes a look at the script) Rumpelstiltskin: (Snorting) Pah! As I thought! Those Brothers Grimm! The way they described their characters! They’d never get away with it today! ‘Little man’ indeed! How would they like to be vertically challenged? Narrator: You know, I do sympathise with you. I think you have a right to feel the way you do! Rumpelstiltskin: Well, thank you Narrator: But that doesn’t completely excuse your behaviour. Rumpelstiltskin: (Exploding) My behaviour? What about that of the king and the girl’s own father?

Cinderella Play - alternative version of the original Brothers Grimm version This is one of a set of 'alternative' fairy tales based on those written by Brothers Grimm but re-written, just as they did, by Sue Russell! This alternative Cinderella play can be used for performance or as a guided reading text. Cast size and Duration Cast of 6, reading time around 10 minutes Purchase includes: Synopsis of original fairy tale, play script, teaching input, discussion and suggested follow up activities. Other cast of 6 alternative plays: Rumpelstiltskin, Rapunzel, Little Red Riding Hood and Hansel and Gretel - Cinderella also available as assembly/class play cast size 30 (easily adaptable up or down) long with Sleeping Beauty and Snow White. Snow White also available as a pantomime - cast of 30 or 60. Sample Text: Narrator: You may have a point! And maybe now, we can all take a slightly more laid back approach to life! Step Sister 1: Oh you’re talking about that exercise regime! Step Sister 2: Dragging Cinders along to the gym every day! Cinderella: Oh don’t you worry about that. Now I have my prince, I have a bit more of a reason to stay fit! Fairy Godmother: And stay away from those doughnuts Step Sister 1 & 2: (Together) Please! Cinderella: Oh no worries there. I guess that was just a case of comfort eating. I’m way happier now (pauses) and it’s not just because I have found my prince Prince: Oh really? Cinderella: Yeah. No offence but I want to stay fit for me – not for anyone else! I want to feel good – inside and out; and that means regular exercise and not binge-eating on doughnuts! I don’t need to anymore. I can see the bigger picture! Narrator: Wow! That’s amazing! (Pauses) Are you sure you haven’t been put up to this by Weight Watchers? Cinderella: (Laughing) No way! Or should I say, no weigh! Fairy Godmother: (Applauding) So good to see you haven’t lost your sense of humour, Cinders! But on a serious note, what you have just said is so important, I think we need to say it again. Right, girls? Step Sisters 1 & 2: Right, Fairy Godmother! Step Sister 1: Staying fit, staying healthy is great. Step Sister 2: But it’s not just about looking great on the outside. Cinderella: No, it’s just as important to feel good on the inside.